Is There Anything Shocking Anymore ?
Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله has said that intelligence demands that we take lessons from the mistakes of others, learn from the consequences they faced and avoid making the same mistakes. One mistake which many people ‘incline’ towards is trusting just anyone. Their trust is sometimes plain foolishness. Therefore it is said;
*Don’t trust just anybody and everybody today.*
People trust their friends to such an extent that they allow them free access in their homes; thus allowing them to become comfortable with their wives and children…..
Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله has shared an incident where the husband allowed his friend to come into his home. Visits were even common when the husband was not at home. The friend and his wife would chat away and befriended one another. They travelled together, socialised, went for coffee, etc – and what happened thereafter was what should have been expected….the husband is left crying and devastated, saying; “My best friend took my wife away.”
Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله asks; “Who is to be blamed for this?” This is what happens when husbands/fathers do not have any sense of honour when it comes to their wives and daughters. They allow them free reign…to do as they like, go anywhere they wish, entertain whomsoever they want.
Allah Ta’ala جل جلاله says in the Holy Qur’ān:
‘O people of Īmān! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones…’
(Surah at-Tahreem:6)
As Muslims, we have to understand that we cannot do as we desire. It is imperative for the safety of our Īmān that we exercise extreme caution and preserve the demands of modesty.
(SOURCE: REMOVING THE SAFETY NET based on informal advices by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله)
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The Dangers Of Flaunting Your Partner
Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله has said that many husbands want to flaunt their pretty wives before their friends. They want their wives to dress in a provocative manner and they want to show their wives as trophies. Then it is no surprise when that wife disappears, or loses interest in her husband, or gets involved with the friends.
Some wives want to introduce their handsome, rich husbands to their pretty, young friends. Then it is no surprise that the friend pursues him or vice versa. This is very common.
This is what happens when people want to act very broadminded and want to be liberal. Many a time, the contention is; “Be broadminded.”
Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله also said; “Be broadminded…But you don’t have to open the mind so broadly that your brains fall off.”
*Allah Ta’ala جل جلاله does not cast a glance of mercy upon the one who has no concern and no sense of honour when it comes to immoral actions and behaviour of his wife and family women. The person is unconcerned with whose company they keep, what actions they engage in, or even what mischief they may be up to.*
(SOURCE: REMOVING THE SAFETY NET based on informal advices by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله)
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The Demise Of Trust
Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله has said that parents send their daughters alone with drivers, cousins and friends…Let one cousin, uncle or brother in law be going on some outing; and the parents say: “Take her also.” Thereafter, the parents sit and cry saying: “I trusted him. I trusted him.”
Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله has shared a heart wrenching incident of a young girl who was raped by the father’s best friend – a Muslim! The friend was given free access into the home and he was like the ‘uncle’ to the young girl. But then Shaitān comes in different guises. The girl was raped and she fell pregnant. The parents were shocked and devastated. The man was arrested and imprisoned.
Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله has said; *”Sometimes these things need to be ‘spelt out’ so that it hits ‘home’. People need to understand that trust has passed away a long time ago. Very few can be trusted today.”*
Sayyiduna Rasoolullah صلى الله عليه وسلم had predicted that a time will come when people will get up in the morning and will go on with their buying and selling, but *not one will discharge his trust,* so much so that it will be said; “There is only one trustworthy person in such and such tribe.” (Sahih Bukhāri)
*”If a person is not loyal and faithful to Allah Ta’ala جل جلاله and His Rasool صلى الله عليه وسلم, then most certainly, he will not be loyal and true to you or your family.”*
(SOURCE: REMOVING THE SAFETY NET based on informal advices by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله)
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Brothers In Law
Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله has said that closer to home, we have the brothers in law, who are taken as family members. As a result, it is a free for all. It is as if a woman marries all her brothers in law. There is just no shame, no modesty and no purdah.
Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله has asserted that the brother in law is perhaps the most dangerous individual to the security and safety of a marriage. This is why Sayyiduna Rasoolullah صلى الله عليه وسلم said; *”The brother in law is death.”* (Sahih Bukhāri)
Due to the brother in law having the freedom to come in and out of the house, he is trusted. We spend so much of money on different luxuries. Should we not invest our wealth towards such facilities where the eating between males and females is separate? Why is it that we have to sit together talking, laughing and joking? Can we not take the necessary precautions and preserve the institution of modesty in our lives? Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله has further stressed; *”The doors of mischief can remain shut and locked, and with the Will of Allah Ta’ala جل جلاله, no threats will hover over our marriages.”*
We have the situation nowadays where if any family member is trying to follow the Shariah, there are objections even by the supposedly Deeni conscious elders of the family; to this extent that the family member is ridiculed and treated as an outcast.
Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله in his correspondence with various people (especially the ladies) has emphasised that brothers in law and first cousins are definitely the most dangerous for one’s Īmān. However, Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله has advised that in a house where family members walk in and out freely; and it becomes difficult to cover the face, one should lower the gaze and ladies should draw their scarves as low as possible and avoid confrontational situations. One should talk out of necessity; there must be no desire in the heart to continue talking (without necessity) or engaging in jokes and laughter.
(SOURCE: REMOVING THE SAFETY NET based on informal advices by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله)
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The Deception Of The Nafs (Ego)
A person complained to Muhyis Sunnah Hazrat Moulana Abraarul Haq Sahib رحمه الله saying that; “When I go to my brother’s house, my brother makes my sister in law adopt purdah from me. She does not sit with us and does not eat with us. She avoids me, and does not want to talk to me anymore. I am very upset.”
Hazrat Moulana Abraarul Haq Sahib رحمه الله asked; “Does your brother welcome you and entertain you?” The person replied in the affirmative. Hazrat Moulana Abraarul Haq Sahib رحمه الله asked; “Do you then go there to meet your brother or your sister in law?”
This is how the Mashā’ikh (spiritual mentors) check the treachery of the nafs.
Another individual wrote to Hakeemul Ummah Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi Sahib رحمه الله informing him of the passing away of his sister in law. In the letter, he paid tribute to her, praising and expressing his admiration for her. He also wrote that he missed her.
Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi Sahib رحمه الله said; “It seems like you had a different kind of relationship with that sister in law. And due to that, you are writing a great deal of praises of your sister in law. It indicates that your nafs was involved.”
The person admitted his error, acknowledged his weakness and Haraam feelings for his sister in law. The Mashā’ikh have the unique ability to diagnose the spiritual illnesses that deviate the seeker from the correct path.
(SOURCE: REMOVING THE SAFETY NET based on informal advices by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله)
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Sins In The Haramain
Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله has said that he cannot forget a phone call he received a few years ago; the person requested for an interpretation of a dream. When he related the dream, Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله asked him; “Are you sure you want to hear the interpretation?” The person replied in the affirmative; Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله responded that the dream clearly indicated that he had committed adultery (zina) in Madīnah Munawwarah.
The person then acknowledged that he had indeed committed adultery. He would visit the room of his cousin, whilst everyone in the family was gone to the Haram Shareef; and one thing led to another…
انا لله وانا اليه راجعون
Hazrat Moulana sighed; “To Allah is our complaint…”
Is it really imaginable that whilst the parents are at the Rawdha Mubaarak conveying salaam, or whilst they are in Tawaaf, or pleading to Allah Ta’ala جل جلاله at the Multazam, or in the Hateem, or crying in Tawbah and duaa – some of their children are engaged in major sins! To add insult to injury, these crimes are perpetrated in the sacred lands. And in Makkah Mukarramah, the magnitude of sins is multiplied 100 000 times.
It is a common occurrence that many parents have left their daughters to their own devices; they frequent the shopping centres and flirt with some of the men working in the shops and even in the hotels. Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله lamented that arrangements are made with boys so that they can make Umrah and go for Ziyaarah at the same time.
Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله has said; “These are not fairy tales. They are eye-openers for those who have intelligence.
Hazrat Moulana رحمه الله has said; *”The problem lies in that we have not brought up our children with etiquette and respect for Deen, nor have we inculcated Hayaa (modesty), Khaufe Khudā (fear of Allah Ta’ala جل جلاله), Azmat (Greatness) of the Haramain Shareefain, and other such qualities which should have been outstanding in their lives, as Muslim youth.”*
(SOURCE: REMOVING THE SAFETY NET based on informal advices by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله)
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Be Responsible…..
Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله has said that our shortcoming is that when the ‘opportunity’ arrives, we pass over our children to others. We want our children to attend Deeni programmes but have we considered whether the company they will be in is reliable or responsible? There has to be a distinct change in attitude; just as we are desirous of our children benefitting from Deen, so too should we as parents sacrifice our time and go with the children.
We must understand that not all who attend Deeni programmes are pious; some have come to reform themselves from their evil ways. But as parents, we have to be cautious; we can never jeopardise their chastity nor can we compromise their Deen.
The Ulama who voice their concerns are referred to as ‘orthodox’ and ‘difficult’ but the reality is indeed painful. The Ummah has to be advised and warned repeatedly. If we are going to be careful, we will not live to regret later.
(SOURCE: Principles adapted from REMOVING THE SAFETY NET based on informal advices by Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Sahib رحمه الله)